The bird protection net as perceived by a female blackbird
Oooooooh, blueberries!!!!
Yum, yum, yum!
Eh! Whazzat?
What’s all this green webby stuff doing in front of the berries?
I want berries!
There must be a way through this to the berries…
*stagger*
Drat, now my foot got caught in this weird green webby stuff.
*twist, flap*
Aargh, my wing, my wing!!!
*twist, flap, hop*
My other foot, oh, my god, oh, my gooooooood!!!!
*flap, flap, hop, twirl, kick dust*
Um.
Help?
Oh, oh, oh, shiiiiit, a huge monster!!
*duck*
Phew, it’s going away again.
Oh, no, there it comes again!!
Heeeelp.
*duck, crawl, pathetically flap*
No, no, don’t…. Aargh, it got me, it got me, help!!!
*screech, flap, struggle*
What’s that?
Oh, no, this is cold and looks dangerous.
And it’s making weird snipping sounds.
Heeeeelp!!
*screech, struggle, bite monster*
It’s letting me go, it’s letting me…. no, it just took me in its other paw.
*peck, screech*
(various repeats of *screech*, *struggle*, *peck* and *bite* while the monster shuffles it from paw to paw and the dangerous looking cold thing keeps making terrifying snipping noises)
*bites into thickest looking claw*
Noooo, what now, the monster is standing up! It’s moving, it’s moving!
It’s bending down again.
What…. it let go of me, it let go of me!!!!
*lets go of the monster’s thumb and flies away, loudly screaming defiance at the monster*
*sits down in tree and unruffles feathers*
*ponders*
Oh, cool, all that icky green webby stuff is gone.
Lucky me that this weird stuff fell off again.
.
Author’s note: lucky you I found you before the neighbours’ cat did…
July 28th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
And there go the other fingers!
Bound and determined to injure the rest, eh?
But very kind to give the blackbird a reprieve.
Blueberries? Have you been growing them long? Any tips on feeding, trimming etc? My sister-in-law just planted a couple of bushes.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Loooool, I just laughed my head off!
Great post, sis - more, more, more!
By the way: did you find a manual for the cell phone last night?
July 28th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
@ Lynnette: Actually, that didn’t even hurt; it was merely annoying.
Cutting birds out of those nets has a long family tradition. First time though I had to do it alone and thus with only 2 hands….
Well….. we planted one blueberry bush this spring.
It developed flowers, which eventually turned into a dozen or so blueberries.
Not bad for a first year I suppose.
My father said blueberries normally need sour soil, but the gardening catalogue praised them as a special breed that grows on any soil…
@ the nasty Kitten: What, more stupid birds?
Yeeeeeees, I found 2 online, a German and an English one.
They answered the question I asked you, but various others I encountered - while merely trying to set the time and the alarms - they didn’t even touch upon.
“Do this, click here, set that, click over there.”
Well, er, yes, dear manual. But I was wondering how exactly I have to go about setting that…
I never once needed the manual you gave me for the other one cos every function was simply obvious.
But this one is driving me nuts.
I did figure out how to set the time zones though without the “help” of the manual. Well, I had to. It was one of those questions it didn’t answer.
Could it be the people who wrote the manual had no clue how the bloody thing works?
July 28th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
LOL
The Melantrys Monster! NOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
My father said blueberries normally need sour soil, but the gardening catalogue praised them as a special breed that grows on any soil…
Ahh, my mother said the same thing. That’s why you see them growing in the wild around pine trees. She suggested adding some Miracid to the soil. Well, I guess you will see if the label on yours is right. It sounds like you have a good start.
Oh, and I agree with Nasty Kitten. An excellent post.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Hm… so it looks like I don’t have to look for the manual now…? Because that effing cell drove me nuts, too. And the manual was every bit as helpful as those you found.
*wonders if she ritually burned the manual, then repressed the memory of doing so*
July 28th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Mmm, what was the icky green stuff? Mmmm, nice thing u know “birds language”!
July 28th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
i’m online but u r not talking @ all.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:01 am
@ Lelly: *glares*
@ Lynnette:
@ nasty Kitten: But what if I feel the urge to ritually burn something….?
@ Caesar: Read post title?
Concerning the messenger: I was talking, dear, but whatever you said, I didn’t get any of that either.
Good night.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Dammit! Damn my evil Y! messenger.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
btw, Lelly’s url directs to “Mega site of Bible studies” site!
July 29th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@ Caesar (again): *damns your messenger as well*
Yeah, and as sites that you get redirected to by mispelling often used stuff like “blogspot” are often riddled with viruses, your comment is not true anymore.
I edited Lelly’s url, so it spells the correct one and leads to her blog now.
July 29th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
i read this post and i have to say, i have absolutely no idea what you are talking about
July 29th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
*lols @ Khalid*
July 29th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Hmmm…obviously Khalid is not a fan of blueberries and thus doesn’t understand the lengths people will go to protect their crop from a bird’s ravagement…
(Of course one could substitute raspberries for blueberries and you would see why I can empathize completely with this post.
)
July 29th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
You just took me out of the Boring Kingdom into the Giggling Empire
love it!
good to know that the creature did not harm your other finger
I want blueberries! It’s the only fruit i never found in UAE
July 29th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Um, hello, I had a name change people?
*glares at melleh and caesar*
I’m curious about where my URL lead to now…jesus freaks eh? always good for a laugh
July 30th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I keep coming back here and reading this post, Sis.
GnngnnbwnnnngnbwahaahaaaaHAAAAAAAA!
July 30th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Just translated your post for Hubby. He said to tell you that he laughed his head off, too.
I’m here to testify that he’s telling the truth.
July 30th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Nice going Mel, rescuing that blueberry gluttonous blackbird from The Death of Birds.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
@ Lynnette: Or maybe Khalid only read two or three sentences and skimmed through the rest.
@ Attawie: Glad to have been of help.
This is especially funny as a colleague at work kept ducking away from a blackbird that had flown into the store and that we were trying to capture and show out again because “Do you have any idea how sharp their beaks can be?”.
Yes, dear, now I do, and the answer is “not at all”.
You can’t have any of my blueberries, sorry.
Pandora: So what; when I asked you about that other edit you said either was ok.
Well, like I said, my guess’d be less Jesus freak and more virus site.
I can’t see some Bible fans redirecting everyone who misspells “blogspot” to their site…
@ nasty Kitten: Can I get you anything that’d help with your memory?
@ bro-in-law:
July 30th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
@ Lynnette: Or maybe Khalid only read two or three sentences and skimmed through the rest.
Skimmed? Skimmed?
Now there are definitely people out there who are deserving of skimming, but you are not.
*gives Khalid an offended look on Mel’s behalf*
July 30th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
It’s nice to see that Anarki is still alive and hasn’t been swallowed whole by Twitter.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Unlike some people (whose name rhymes with Caesar) who are still on decades old posts…
July 31st, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Really funny post, like your imagination ;). I thought I had commented on it a few days ago; but I think in my haste ( was at work at the time ) I clicked the preview button instead of the post one :P.
July 31st, 2009 at 5:55 pm
“@ nasty Kitten: Can I get you anything that’d help with your memory?
”
Eh? What’s wrong with my memory?
By the way, great post! I’ve just discovered it and laughed my head off!
August 1st, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@ Lynnette: *gives Khalid an offended look on Mel’s behalf*
Thank you, thank you.
Now quit spamming, girl!! *stern look*
@ PH: No matter what you do, it’s always wrong.
First, ppl complained they wanted a preview function.
Now, ppl don’t comment cos they confuse the two buttons (you’re not the first, and certainly won’t be the last….).
*sighs*
@ nasty Kitten: *patpat*
August 2nd, 2009 at 12:01 am
@ Mel :
I wasn’t complaining I was just justifying my delay in commenting :P. Plus I commented even after confusing the buttons, you can switch them it would make more sense :P.
August 8th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
So, what do German villagers think of the new Harry Potter movie?
August 8th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
David,
Teh Mel does not like Harry Potter..tsk.
However -I have to say, seeing your comment, it was really good! I was shocked! I expected it to be rubbish tbh.
I really enjoyed it it was well done.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
@ PH: Excuses, excuses.
Anyhow, I am glad I did find a plugin for comment preview to make my readers happy (*glances at Lynnette*), I’m not gonna destroy it now by messing around with it…
@ David: Sorry, I can’t hear you.
@ Pandora: Oh, cool, an automated answering service!
August 11th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Anyhow, I am glad I did find a plugin for comment preview to make my readers happy (*glances at Lynnette*), I’m not gonna destroy it now by messing around with it…
August 13th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Madam, for lack of other words suitable to the caliber of this posting:
IT.
IS.
BADASS.
really awesome
no seriously, you should write stuff you know. I’d buy it (with real money, especially now i’ve gotten used to paying for stuff i download, online, you know 
)
August 13th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
@ Lynnette: *takes a bow*
@ Anarki: