Melantrys’ Page

Oooooooh, blueberries!!!!
Yum, yum, yum!

Eh! Whazzat?
What’s all this green webby stuff doing in front of the berries?
I want berries!
There must be a way through this to the berries…

*stagger*
Drat, now my foot got caught in this weird green webby stuff.

*twist, flap*
Aargh, my wing, my wing!!!

*twist, flap, hop*
My other foot, oh, my god, oh, my gooooooood!!!!

*flap, flap, hop, twirl, kick dust*

Um.

Help?

Oh, oh, oh, shiiiiit, a huge monster!!
*duck*

Phew, it’s going away again.
Oh, no, there it comes again!!
Heeeelp.
*duck, crawl, pathetically flap*

No, no, don’t…. Aargh, it got me, it got me, help!!!

*screech, flap, struggle*

What’s that?
Oh, no, this is cold and looks dangerous.
And it’s making weird snipping sounds.
Heeeeelp!!

*screech, struggle, bite monster*

It’s letting me go, it’s letting me…. no, it just took me in its other paw.

*peck, screech*

(various repeats of *screech*, *struggle*, *peck* and *bite* while the monster shuffles it from paw to paw and the dangerous looking cold thing keeps making terrifying snipping noises)

*bites into thickest looking claw*

Noooo, what now, the monster is standing up! It’s moving, it’s moving!

It’s bending down again.

What…. it let go of me, it let go of me!!!!

*lets go of the monster’s thumb and flies away, loudly screaming defiance at the monster*

*sits down in tree and unruffles feathers*

*ponders*

Oh, cool, all that icky green webby stuff is gone.
Lucky me that this weird stuff fell off again.

.

Author’s note: lucky you I found you before the neighbours’ cat did…

Welcome, dear readers, to another episode of “Trying to Mutilate Yourself in Six Easy Steps” with Melantrys.

Step 1: Pick a tree that sneakily started to grow on its own behind the lilac. Better yet, pick two.

Step 2: Fetch a spade and start to dig.

Step 3: Dig closer to the trunk by hacking at tree roots with the spade.

Step 4: Forget you are working close to a fence.

Step 5: Hit fence post with a finger in mid-hack. For good measure, don’t just hit the post, but scrape along it as well.

Step 6: Sink to knees while pressing your hand to your chest.

Is this my finger joint?

Actually, I don’t want this to be my finger, ‘k?

Actually, the whole of the photo is way more horrid than the cutout I posted above (Update 2009/07/10)

It’s a shame, really, that the colour isn’t coming out so well in the photos. In real life the joint is a truly interesting shade of blue.

Update (2009/07/04):

Went to my regular doc yesterday, and he was happy I’d already had x-rays done to rule out a break cos from the looks of my finger he’d have suspected one.

Here’s a pic of my finger today. Add a bit of blue in your mind; the cam’s still eating some of the colour.

I think it’s fascinating how the blood is wandering off into various directions (lower finger joint: purple; upper segment of finger and knuckle: blue to purple to green)….:

Look at the pretty colours!!!

So, is this writer’s block, or plain laziness?
I don’t know, but I’ll try to ramble in a vaguely interesting way for a while.

*sips some Grüne Witwe*

*draws a blank*

Maybe it really is writer’s block then.

Anyway.

My Lilium Erotica has survived the relatively tough winter and shily put forth its first flower today.
The Lilium Perversum looks like it might soon follow. Well, all I can hope for then is that the flowers will distract from the otherwise really sad look of the poor thing.

A good week ago, when I went to water the lilies I discovered that the leaves of the red one were thoroughly riddled with holes.
There were a lot of bright red bugs sitting close to the stem, and they were kind of looking guilty, so I picked them out of the lily, threw them onto a stone and stepped on them. *squish* The few eggs that I found I rubbed between my fingers. *mash*
And before you call me evil, firstly, they were responsible for the bedraggled look of my lily, and secondly, despite their nice, friendly colour and all, those bugs gave me the creeps. I had to seriously force myself to reach out and grab each one of them. The German wiki has the best photo; the English one might be more comprehensible to most of you though.

What else….?

Have been working at work, and here at home weeding, weeding, weeding…. Why do weeds grow so much better and faster than pretty, pretty flowers and veggies, eh?!

Got a variety of tomato plants inside the greenhouse and out, also peppers sweet and hot, chilis, eggplants, freaky decorative eggplants, courgettes in light green, yellow and “white” (Thank you “Uncle Bob” Bobby Seeds!), and round ones.

Furthermore we ordered some stuff from a mailorder gardening shop: thornless brambles, a blueberry shrub, figs, interesting strawberries, and an ‘erb with annoying habits.

When the plants arrived in early spring, I planted them all out into the garden. The spring starflower, which they are selling here as Andean garlic, was already merrily in bloom. As the flowers are edible too, they made for nice deco on the odd salad.
Then the first one seemed to dry off and die. Shortly afterwards, the second did the same. The third and last held on a little longer and appears to be lying in its death throes now.
But.
Little green shoots are suddenly growing out of two empty patches in my herb bed and out of the middle of the “dying” third plant.
From what I just read when I went picture-hunting, that’s absolutely normal behaviour for that plant…. ‘K.

And a last garden thing…
For my birthday I got a flowerpot from the neighbours. Guess it was on discount, as it looked rather Easterly, with a huge fake white egg and a bow made out of greenery stuck into the middle of it…
Anyway, the main inhabitant of the pot was a hydrangea with white flowers. A, not to put too fine a point on it, shrub. Growing rather nicely out of the 20 by 20cm pot it came in.
Once the weather was stable enough for me to dare allow it out into the wilderness, I got a surprise. Most of the room inside the pot was taken up by plastic foil. The actual inner pot size was about 8cm.
The kind of pot I put my veggie seedlings in.
So.
What kind of plant hating gardener puts a shrub into such a small pot?
I don’t have to mention that it contained more roots than soil, do I?

Oh my, now this is almost a pure garden post.
You poor readers.

Let me quickly add another topic:
Music.
These days I am listening to a lot of Malicorne, while occasionally cussing the fact that they don’t exist anymore.
If someone invents a time machine, please let me know, I’d really have liked to see those guys live.
*sighs*

Here’s some “videos”. Enjoy the songs (hopefully)!

A capella:
Le Prince d’Orange

Quand je menai mes chevaux boire

Branle/La Peronelle

La fiancée du timbalier

And for those with more than 10 minutes to spare:
La fille aux chansons (Marion s’y promène)

Now it’s almost 1am, I am feeling tired and headachy and almost sure that the title of this post is more amusing than the post itself.

Good night, everyone!

A comment reminded me of something long overdue:
pics of the greenhouse being in use.

The outside seen from various angles:

The inside:

The terrace:

A so-called “balcony tomato” for cultivation in a pot…

… among the first we bought, and thus already starting on tomato production.

Although some of the tomatoes outside the greenhouse aren’t far behind:

tomato blooms

Hm, beans…

And back inside some of the seeds have been busy:

Don’t always believe “best by” dates. These Okra seeds were only supposed to keep till December ‘07 - and the package had already been opened!

The following pics are of the new ones I came across by accident in a home-improvement market. It was the only package they had (left?), and I immediately grabbed it.
The okras on the package look darker and more shiny than I know them, so let’s see what the plants will produce - if the filthy German weather doesn’t kill them dispite the greenhouse, that is.

And why are they “spineless” anyway??? Got no backbone, the fucking cowards, eh?!

+++ out of cheese error +++

+++ melon +++ melon +++ melon +++

As per Mafdet’s request:

my finger this evening

Can’t seem to be able to shoot less blurry pics one handed and without a tripod. But the scar and the damage to the fingernail that has been growing out of its hiding place are visible, so there…

Probably not the appropriate topic to squeeze in between Eid al Adha and Christmas, but I can’t help the timing.

Spam emails - don’t we all know that problem?

On my AOL account I always had dozens. Funnily enough, as soon as they - finally - introduced a bulk folder, hardly any spam arrived at that address anymore at all.
But even with my favourite, yahoo, I have made it a habit to check out my bulk folder, even before it started dumping my Site Meter reports and emails from a stranger with a weird email address into it. Mistakes happen, so it’s better to check before the bulk folder eats an important email.

So, anyway.
What I was trying to say is that I have read my share of spam mail titles. And concerning one obsessively returning subject, I have long since started to say that - as a woman - if I really got all those advertised inches I’d by now have one impressive, er, you know…

Annoying or amusing as they were, those email titles always made sense, as far as I remember.

I just found that I had a new email in my bulk folder and thought, “well, maybe PH is as bored as I am right now,” and went and looked.
Wasn’t PH though. Was “Dr. Clark Corona”, and I was not quite clear what he wished to tell me.
“Do not be shame by reason of of your machine size,” he assured me.
[sarcasm] “Well, if I were a guy, I’d sure do my best not to, thank you; finally a voice of reason out there,” I thought.
But - lo and behold! - inside it says: [/sarcasm]

Your girl does not want to have sex with you for reason of your male organ size.
Don’t miss this perfect possibility to solve the trouble.
All you have to do is just make use of our male instrument enlargement.
You will forget about trouble and your girl will be glad

Oh, don’t worry, I think I have 50 inches or so by now. Dunno how glad that would make my girl if I had one.

*wonders what exactly “our male instrument enlargement” might be*
*guesses that everyone with a normal pain threshold probably doesn’t wish to find out*

This little treasure turned up way back on my “Happy Easter” post.
The domain name comes back as “Never Registered Before” on a database that claims to know all “current/deleted/expired” domains.

This is so…… pointless. Spam in its purest form… Enjoy.

tbrpcjkxl jxahvpq | gjtr@mail.com | cfjsvbpxm.qcukx.com | IP: 71.11.132.134

yqfut lugwskq quga sigozwcj jhgxtkez hbfmkqon fsgq

Not Spam — Dec 5, 2:10 PM — [ View Post ]

.

.

And as an encore:

Free Download Of Spyware Removal Programer | info@removespywareandadware.com | removespywareandadware.com | IP: 72.3.240.20

Whatz up Guru, what made you want to write on Please, hold the line…? I was wondering, because I have been thinking about this since last Tuesday.

Not Spam — Dec 5, 12:47 AM — [ View Post ]

Excuse me, is there anyone with an IQ higher than that of a loaf of white bread who’d trust in finding some honest program for spyware removal under that address?????

Two days ago Akismet caught this comment spam:

Real Hot Mom | link censored | IP: 69.59.__.__

Real Hot Mom…

Have you done a good research on Google before you post this?…

Excuse me?
Excuse me?!
Excuse me?!?
Excuse me?!?!

This person/thing asks me if my research for my post was thorough, while trying to advertise real hot moms on my blog?!

Ok, here we go, you nosy person.
Hope everybody else ain’t gonna be bored.

So, we got ourselves this greenhouse.
And now we gotta dig down to be able to build up.
Well, I say “we”. The sad truth is that I have been doing most of the digging.

Ok, David, the above shows the spot where the greenhouse will be standing - hopefully - soonish and where we had already been digging to the discussed depth of around 40cm (in some cases even less…). They had been predicting rain, so I had covered the holes and yesterday only uncovered those I intended to dig to their complete depth of a good 80cm. In the end I finished 6 of ‘em.

And this is the frame that’s gonna get fixed onto/into the foundation blocks.
…. The other way around of course….

Last, but not least - one finished hole. If you look closely, you will notice a bit of stone at the bottom of the yellowish line of soil. It’s sort of in the center of the picture. Oh, the joys of digging!!

I guess this could have been written in a more fascinating way, but
1. this topic doesn’t really fascinate me that much, and
2. I am rather bluh in the head (and in my back), especially after having finished with the holes today after work.

Yay.

It seems that - due to severe Sigourney Weaver-ness of the human race - some Aliens have taken to breeding inside the tubes leading up to our water taps.

All citizens are asked to show utmost caution upon hearing suspicious dripping noises from their bathroom, to calmly evacuate the building, and to inform the local authorities of the national emergency.

Thank you.

or

I think the Gods of Plumbing have me in their little black book…..